1. |
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The most demoralising thing I've ever done is
Live a jobless life
Every rejection slowly twisting the knife
Forget who you were, forget all your dreams
You'll learn what bare survival means
You're nothing but a burden to the taxpayer now
We're here to remind you you're scum
We crack the whip while you run
The longer it goes the harder it gets
Redemption feels so far away
No one wants you so we make endless rejection your new occupation
Payments in poverty and poor health
Your worth as a human is as much as your wealth
We won't make this job easy
As if being scraping by isn't hard enough
You missed your appointment this morning
We know you can't afford to live close
We texted you half an hour before
And laughed as you scrambled out your door
Fake apology followed by sanctions
Just don't forget it's out of our kindness your still living
We'll break you down until you're ready to accept modern slavery
Why do I need a degree to work in a shop
5 years experience required on all entry level jobs
Tell me all your strengths and weaknesses
But only quote the best ones you found on the Internet being honest will get you nowhere here sat opposite people who left school with O grades trying to figure out if you're qualified enough to wait tables.
anything to make this nightmare go away anything for minimum wage
Brought down by guilt, uncertainty with no vision for the future
Surviving day by day in such a way that everything seems to go wrong
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2. |
Departure
02:06
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Diagnosed, lost all hair
Quarantined, bed to chair
Time continues ticking out
Remains contented, removed of doubt
Against clear message world is evil
Tooth for tooth blind eyes upheaval
Holding on planning funeral
Thankful for life thankful for people
Although seeming all is lost
Victory gifted from debut thought
Existening through a barrage of cruelty and hardship
Death bed reflections showcase only the good bits
Persistent poisoning wishing for early grave
When health deteriorates you find they change there ways
Badge of honour worn in dangerous places
Adrenaline chasers claims of adventurous nature
Begs for safety when luck goes against them
No fear of death but begs for life to forgive them
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3. |
Nothing Follows You
02:06
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The narrow and unyielding path to a more fulfilling existence in which you may not be rich, not even within your own satori but have wealth brought to you by close family, friendships and the endless pursuit of purpose feels a long way to fruition from the very bottom of the depths one can sink. The consideration of dark alternatives comes to light as an anfractuous escape from this harsh, difficult and often painful Naufrage where forms of escapism no longer preserve.
Existing in memory to those close to you would sometimes feel better than sinking further into embarrassment and the feeling of burden but not to those that surround, although it feels like all there Is left is to do is let others down you do the opposite by staying around
If you choose to continue your plaintive march you will continue to make them proud regardless.
The Fear of an augean future that will only soil your legacy further leaving your Langour life in further ruin is a rock that you must continue to push further up that hill until you reach a point where the landscape changes and you rise above the clouds.
You feel it’s better to maybe quit while your only so far behind any attempts to rise will faulter and you slide lower than ever before but this is not decided, nothing is determined and the outcome of any of your efforts can bring change.
We can only hope that you don't decide an end driven by fear of further humiliation and degradation there can still be ways to ameliorate.
The belief that you can still leave with the last scraps of dignity you have left, that you will hold them forever more is nonsense- nothing follows you once you choose that door and Once this Aoristic Decision has been made it cannot be reversed.
Pp The end will come for everyone eventually, you argue that end is better to be on your terms peacefully than facing unimaginable pain and suffering brought on by living a broken life being pursued by increasingly self destructive thoughts and bellicose individuals but try making that argument to anyone who loves you and you will know you are wrong. You will know that you action won't end misery but simply pass it on.
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4. |
Money Advise
02:24
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"Hello, I'm a money expert and influencer and you can be too just don't buy takeout coffee and get your dad to buy you 3 separate properties to rent also marry a millionaire it's that simple!"
You honestly think you're unique
Like you figured it out
Like you forged a key
You think you made it on your own
Professional landlord
Like you're the salt of the earth
The steps to your success is rich parents
Cant see privilege through rose tinted glasses
You never known any different
Influence by ignorance and now your famous
Stop rubbing it in people's faces
Dont pretend you're something special
Self made
better than most
Work much harder
Living off other people's wages
Born successful but you think its because you don't buy coffee
Its condescending
Patronising
Money advice
From the upper classes
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5. |
Daybreak
03:47
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Existence was but roaming through fog
Visits from occasional black dog
Sirens screaming in the back of my head
Flashes of past unpatterened and abrupt
Trying to make thoughts cohesive not reactive to shock
With every wind my mind went to flight
Even when calm inside there was fight
Every question was a mountain that I could not climb,
no summit of answers or peak of insight
Though one day it hit me without any warning
As clear as dawn breaking on a cold winter morning over the north sea an apiphany unveiled bringing colour to what once was unrecognisable at best pale
The difference in riches from royaltie to poverty
is as palpable as judging a fish on land authority
It matters not what we possess if the life lead is dull
comforts cannot be so comfortable.
Challenges to survival brings profound perspectives and as long as the life lived is colourful as daybreak over the north sea nothing else will matter
I watch as friends go by living ordinary lives
Blissfully unaware there's more to life than time spent Kept quiet in the shade and sleeping 8 hours a day
Leaving the casino at the end of the night coming out to Broad daylight
Although we talked all night It's was over too soon regrets for every unmade move
Deck chairs facing out to sea one night
How our sprirts lifted with the rising light
Me and Paul after a night of wreckless debauchery and a feeling that has never left me
That sunrise over the sheds in Torry
The afters of an after party
How that feeling came back from years before like a familiar knock on the door
The flat we destroyed from wall to wall
Making a beach on the kitchen floor
Walking home in the dead of night
Sly grin reminiscing
Lying awake on my trampoline star gazing.
All long as the life lived is as colourful as day break over the north sea nothing else will matter
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6. |
Weekend Warriors
03:38
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All the education won't save us from morons
Built into our bucket hat culture
Football fanatic vultures
Circle every public space waiting to rip into anything slightly different from their narrow view of normal
Stone Island pricks
Using casual harassment for kicks
Part bully part sexual predator but it's ok cause its only banter innit
Weekend Warriors
2 pints of lager and a hatred of foreigners (fun fact my favourite lyric of this album)
Happy to see them run around in food delivery but not as part of society
These brown shoed plain shirt wankers of the night gather at Wetherspoons to tell tall tales of how
"The worlds gone mad we can't do anything these days
I got banned last week, didn't do nothing wrong just raised the point women don't really want equality, they don't want to work the bins like we do, they don't want to go to war like we do." "You know it winds me up, these snowflakes want to welcome more and more to our shores well I told them straight we can't afford anymore scroungers here Great Britain is full we need to look after our own and if they don't like our culture fuck off!"
Ample Union jack decoration and clown emojis-
"It shows we ain't messing!"
Unhelpful cunts being proud of their exploitation
Like working hard all your life just to afford the pub on the weekend is an honourable choice and not a waste of life
Looking like you pissed on their wee square shoes when you say you don't like football.
Ladbible worshippers pray to their geezer god
Dark Fruits in one hand the other left over kebab
"Please lord help me disappoint a woman tonight so I can brag about it to ease my insecure mind"
And the great gods of fragile masculinity commands
Thou shall not be original
thou shall not make peace
Thou shall defend beige culture
Thou shall hate all those different from you, apart from that one guy you work with because he knows his place y'know "He's alright"
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7. |
Weekend Warriors Redux
01:24
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8. |
Architecture
02:13
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For the first time staring out a dirty window
I caught a different face staring back
The face of an older man, jaded and cold
No longer a hopeful child
The architecture harsh, eyes longing for rest
A face that hasn't relaxed in so long it's forgotten to the point that relaxing would only be another task.
No longer able to dawn different masks
The frustrated exterior reflects all that remains of a child once too shy to make friends now to impatient of others to really value anyone, or anything else.
Every minor inconvenience, every tiny strain etched and chisled Into offensive frame Rough and unpleasant, how life takes its toll.
Looking out to the large country houses that I'll never afford feeling conflicted
Loneliness for one who hates the world to build his own would sound like Valhalla if not for the fear that once cut off from everything else he finds the only thing he's ever truly hated is himself
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9. |
I Break Down
03:31
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The mind doesn't like the body much
Always tapping on a low scale self destruct
So tired of these same four walls
Is anything really worth leaving my bed for?
Doing nothing at all
The hours pass the engine continues to stall
Every effort I make seems to fall short of great
Are we all destined to be no better than when we were made?
Wasting away, on the side-lines
Fear that we'll drown, at every high tide
When I go, I'll feel sorry whoever has to auction my belongings
Everything I have is broken
In ways that only make sense to me
Clutter fulfilling metaphors of how I came to be
So many plans built and torn apart
By the same hand that documents the worst of me
Sinking in a shallow tarn on top a peak of misery
Sick of waiting for my view to improve
Does the future bring freedom or at least a window for this tomb?
A war of the mind being drowned and subdued
But the more I submerge the more a faction breaks through
I can't let them see how crazy I can be
Can't spread this agnostic disease
Can't let them see the real me
(Various self-dissing)
Like balancing a tight rope of conversations
Covert full-scale operation
A veil of balance and well meaning
An imposter with a slate wiped clean
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